BigBadWolf.
my minds like being idont even know theres so much on my mind that i cant even control what i feel or what to think, but one thing that i know is that i’ve been inlove with the same person.. be inlove is the best feeling in the world when your with that person that is but in my situation im no longer with that person i love and dont ask me and say you’re to young or maybe you jus really liked him cause i know what i feel and what i feel is the best but then again it crushes me at time knowing how i cant call him mine even tho my heart still does, days come and days go around this month was the month when i was talking to him getting to know him and he already had me inlike with him the first step that i didnt know would lead me to being inlove, i can honestly remember every little detail to what we had and wish we still had around this month me and him were already acting like we were together, but the day we asked me to be his girlfriend was May 23 and i remember the first day i met him and im writting this with tears on my eyes i dont know if these tears of happines because of the memories or sadness but the day i met him was on may 27 oh cant explain everything i was feeling i was nervous and happy i was guna see the guy that made me happy and smile and all these emotions that had never felt before it was something more i already knew it like i said i remember every detail cause what we had was really special to me i was waiting for him at stonewood mall in downey and i was texting him to see where he was and he said he was here and i saw him from far away my heart beated faster and then i saw that smile oh my god that smile of his was the cutest then he did this laugh when he was finally infront on me i smile looked down all sign that pointed out he had me like a nervous wreck our first kiss and then us being together at the mall walking around those times when youd make me alido mad and id walk aaway but youd surprised me by coming after me and hugging me from behind and how can i forgot the first thing you ever bought me my favorite an arizona tea. he got grape flavor and i got mango he didnt like his so he tried to switch mine with his see that what i liked the most about him he had the bestsense of humor and he was a gentleman and i let him walk away i tried my best to keep him everyword didnt seems to matter though he had already made up his mind he wanted to break up and not any once of any would change his mind i didnt know what to do but that phone call was the worst the one thing i remember was crying my eyes out my heart was beating fast again but this waastn the first time meeting him this was the first time loosing him one thing iremember telling him was ‘i hate you’ why did i tell the guy i love those words? honestly i had no clue what to say to him i was hurt it felt like this was my first heartbreak ever it wasnt but fuck i felt this break up the most it hit me hardi could stop crying the first thing i did was ccall my best friend i was hurt she came over i cried and cried i couldnt stop i was gasping for words but nothing came out i was silent with this pain of hurt and its bee 8 months since the break up and i dated but no guy has made me as happy as he did his personality was the best ive seen in any guy he wasnt a guy a boy he was a man he had the maturity of a man even though he was young we tried to fix things around march i saw him again after a couple of months after the break up this was the time where he msgd me and said he wanted to try “us” again give it another shot i ofcourse was soo happy i saw him sometime in march and we shared this kiss that literally brought every once of feeling i still had for him harder and these amazing butterflies and this aamazing feelin of love overwhelmed me but i had to wait on our relatinship he said iwas stupid i fell for some other guys sweet words and i regret it i honestly choose another guy over him HIM the guy i love and never stoped loving if it were up to me id wish on every star every 11:11 there is everyday just to have him back in my life he made me happy i miss him soo much im not sprung or obssesed im just in love and i dont want to let my first love pass me by i was 17 when i had my first love and honestly he was my first in everything nd i want him to be my last still im just a girl thats inlove with the same guy but he doesnt believe me anymore my mistake for choosing someone else than him but then again he choose someone else to when i was hurting but she did him wrong and his stupid ex cheated on him and was giving up an opportunity with such an amazing guy and me over here that would give anything to have him and i know for a fact i would never do something so stupid like that to loose a guy like him i just want to be able to call him mine and i know i fucked up and i say i love him alot and choose someone else but i love him more then anything itried fixing things and msgd him saying i “i misss uss..” and i nothing maybe hes mad that i didn that stupid mistake but i hope he realizes how much i truely do love him an d no other guy he was perfeect although there isnt a defintion to perfect but he was my mother doesnt stop talking or bringing him up every now and then and my dad actually liked hmi my whole family did and especially me deng my 5.23.11 i love you and miss you so much please come back into my life and lets make things right punk your chinita misses you these memories of you and me make me cry idk its happy and sad i have no idea all i know is that id you give you my world…
(via lovely-eileen)
(Source: guilty-and-alone, via judgementfreezoneyo)
